My Introduction - Why am I starting a blog?

 From a young age, I’ve excelled at school. I’ve gone from advanced schools, to advanced programs, then continued to move, state to state, country to country. When I was living in Belgium, I had an amazing teacher who would do STEAM related activities every Friday. I remember standing in my Harry Potter costume, playing with lightbulbs as we learned how batteries worked and the flow of energy. Ever since I’ve wanted to know the “why” or “how” of everything. How does a dishwasher work? Why do I need to learn this? The questions were neverending. 

When I moved to Virginia I found an immediate problem. At my new school, learning was based on a curriculum. It was like that in Belgium too, but the teachers focused on our curiosity, not just laying the facts out and expecting us to memorise it for no apparent reason. In Virginia, it's not about loving the subject and learning for the sake of curiosity. It's learning so you don’t fail in life. 

I remember in math we were given an assortment of multiplication questions and a timer was started. You had to get a 90% or higher or else you had to take it again next week. And this would go on every week until every student was able to complete their timetables at that pace. That very day, I got a 94%. It wasn’t enough for me. The next week I retook it even though I was exempt and I got a 100%. I was done with the paper before the timer had even gone off. Only one other student was done at the time. 

Those first few months at the school were hard. I was different, I wanted to consume knowledge, I loved math, I loved the simplicity of rules I could apply in my mind and so easily be the best at. I didn’t let it bother me, I wore my Harry Potter costume around, reading silently at lunch while everyone laughed with their friends, pink glasses at the tip of my nose stained blue from hair dye. It wasn’t until like halfway through the school year I made my first friend. 

After that year I spent more time on my phone and less time reading books. I spent more time trying to act more like my peers and erasing my originality. My huge smile in the yearbooks faded to a small smirk. My screentime was more than eight hours. I knew it was bad, but I couldn’t stop. I mean, that’s what it's designed for isn't it? I was consuming knowledge, but rather than it being about the things around me, it was about the political state of the world and the greedy, fascist leaders around us. It sickened me to know grown adults all around me only cared about themselves. I’m not trying to excel for myself. 

I’m trying to excel so I can be successful enough to help other people. I had a dream when I was 5. I wanted to be a pirate, and sail around the world, then find my own island and become the queen of the island and rule over it so graciously. I would be the best leader, and everyone would love me. I wanted to do what was right even if it meant losing something I loved. I wanted to share the island instead of keeping it to myself, I wanted to be the country with the happiest citizens in the world. 

Obviously I can’t do that because what my 5 year old self didn't know was that satellites exist and there are no islands I can find that are completely unowned. I do want to keep that dream alive though in the future. I want to create a community founded with love and not hatred. One filled with acceptance for everyone, no matter their looks, religion, or love. I don’t expect to have a country, but I want to have a platform. 

I want to be able to do everything, but I know that’s not possible. I want to study psychology and become a therapist for teenagers because someone close to me had awful things happen to them in addition to mental health problems she already had. I want to be able to help people like her. I want to be able to understand them. I also want to study law. I want to be a public defender because I believe that everyone deserves help. I want to study creative writing and write books with representation for everyone. I want to be a teacher to spark the love and curiosity that my fifth grade teacher sparked in me. Obviously, I can’t do all of those and I know writing won't get me far. 

After all of this, I decided I want to major in psychology and minor in creative writing and pre-law. I’m currently only fifteen though. College takes years and I want to help now. So I’m founding STEMARTS to help kids learn to love learning. I’ve also decided to do an indepth blog and actively learn about mental health in teens and how it affects them long term and things you can do to help. Finally, I’ve decided to also do a blog on the addictive effects of technology and how I’m going to wean myself off of it and learn to love the earth around me like I did when I was younger.

I decided to name this project The Heartbeat Project because suicide is the third leading cause of death in youth aged 12-18. Mental Health is incredibly important to me, and I want to learn exactly how different mental disorders affect the brain and ways you can help. I decided to blog this journey so other people can read this and know how to help their friends and what's going on in their head. I also wanted to blog this so I could have all of my research and work in one spot that I can access from anywhere on the internet. I want to educate myself on this as well as educate others with my findings.